I'm writing this post sitting under a tree on my 'alone time' afternoon. I've taken myself off to 'the beach' which is really a French Countryside lake with a man made beach. It is a gorgeous crystal green colour with the hills and old stone buildings in the background. The perfect place to allow my words to flow and then have some chillax time.
This week, I feel inspired to share a sad yet powerful event in my life that changed the course of my career for the good. It is a story of how tragedy can be transformed into powerful transformation if we claim it. It demonstrates a way that you too can transform any of your past dark events into rocket fuel for your business and life.
Back when I first started my own business 14 years ago, I worked out of a wellness clinic on the famous Acland St in St Kilda Melbourne. It was an exciting time after leaving the hospital system.
I could finally do and say the things that I really wanted to say about health and healing.
Hospitals are slightly more holistic these days but starting my own business was the only way that I could unleash my truthful voice with my clients and guide the powerful transformations that I knew I was capable of. I felt limited within the medical model and I was ready to forge my own path as a counsellor teaching meditation firstly to those with health issues.
The man who ran the wellness clinic was 20 years my senior and much more experienced in the private practice world. He was a hypnotherapist and energy healer. He took me under his wing and became like a business mentor to me. He supported and encouraged me to get my very first clients and we became friends and colleagues.
Two years after working in the same clinic together, I had got to know him well. I began to see some very dark places within him emerge. There were things that he would refuse to talk about and areas of his past that were like a locked cupboard. He would become extremely defensive and almost aggressive whenever I asked questions about certain areas. He was my friend and colleague, not my client, so I left it alone.
One day a policeman came into the clinic and took him away for charges of sexual abuse of one of his clients. As soon as the police investigations began his mental state went downhill fast.
I encouraged him to see a professional as he started talking about his thoughts of suicide. I was the only person he confided in and I felt a huge weight of responsibility once he told me about his suicide thoughts. Just a few weeks after the charges he took his own life and I was the one to find his deceased body. It was a horrific and bloody scene and a memory that is etched in my mind. It was a tragic yet life changing day.
It was my greatest fear come true that someone who I was supporting would take their own life.
On that day I considered for a moment my inability to stop him from taking his own life and felt my whole career path and confidence collapse. I toyed with quitting my business.
In my shock and grief I could see two paths laid out before me.
One path would allow this tragic experience to crush my confidence as a new private practitioner, send waves self doubt into my career and silence the powerful message that was emerging as my life path.
The other path was to use the situation to learn some valuable lessons and transform the emotions arising and uncover even greater clarity on who I am, why I am here and where my true responsibility lies as a therapist, counsellor, mentor or coach.
Blessedly I chose the latter path and it became a changing and powerful day in my career rather than a moment of ruin.
When one of our greatest fears comes true it can be a valuable opportunity to dive even deeper within and to see life with true eyes.
I uncovered so many patterns of behaviour from that experience that needed to be released. I released many of them with my tears and my grief.
The biggest pattern I released was the overwhelming responsibility I felt to ease others pain. But instead of throw the baby out with the bathwater, I could see that my greatest gift was to guide the ease of others pain and struggle so they can rise to great heights, yet the heavy and unhealthy responsibility had to go.
It left like a huge weight leaving in the following weeks to months after that sad day. Carrying such responsibility was limiting and holding back my gifts to unleash their potential.
Immediately after this realisation my business got busier, my cycle of burnout lessened and the self empowerment I inspired in my clients was powerful. Rather than me feeling responsible, my clients took on 100% responsibility for their own transformation... I simply helped guide the way.
That tragic event became the manure that fertilised my career into greater success.
It required me to look very honestly at myself, my gifts, my patterns and have the courage to let them go.
So many of my clients have memories that attach feelings of shame and guilt to their powerful gifts and until these emotions are released, our gifts lack the potency required to expand.
So over to you, what dark events in your past do you still carry like a weight that holds back feeling worthy of your next level of success?
What shame do you hold alongside your gifts that waters down their potency and associates your gifts with fear?
These are powerful questions and one's that have the power to completely transform your business and life.
It is never too late to turn painful memories or old patterns into a powerful transformation.
Are you ready to clear the way for true success and fulfilment in your business and life?
If you'd like some support to move into greater alignment you can book in a FREE CLARITY SESSION to allow the peace, joy, cash and clients to flow!