"Goodness gracious great balls of fire!”
In its purest form, anger is concentrated balls of fire that bubble up from our depths. These balls of fire are our deepest passions, our life force, our fuel for change and one of our most useful superpowers available to us in life!
Suppress your fire and you mute your power as a human being and make yourself unwell and unhappy. At the core of much unhappiness, cancers, inflammatory responses, auto-immune diseases is suppressed anger that has not been given release.
Every time life or some-one pisses us off we are invited to master the skill of embracing and wisely expressing these balls of fire. It is not easy and we have all been burnt by the wild behaviour and words that anger can sometimes trigger, but it is one of the most valuable life skills we can learn to master. So join me as we learn to dance with these balls of fire like a passionate warrior of love!
My past tendency with fire has been to suppress it. I used to be addicted to being the helpful peace maker. I loved the identity of being cool with everything. My mind would say “yeah that's fine, no problem, I'm cool with that,” yet at the same time my gizzards were firing up and saying “Hell no, that's not fair, what about me, back off buddy”.
In order to maintain the identity of being the helpful peacemaker, I had to shove the bubbling fire down to my socks. I could mask it really well... until it reached overload! Oh dear look out! The backlog of fire would then burst out through a passive aggressive look, an outburst of defiance or an internalised inflamed body part! Sound familiar?
Over the years through trial and error and making lots of so called mistakes along the way, I have slowly learnt to love my fire. It only took a few burnt relationships and some mild chronic inflammatory illness to finally wake up! Ha! But that's how we learn best!
Anger and passion are different sides of the same fiery coin.
Fire that is embraced, breathed into, accepted, expressed lovingly and honestly reaches the surface as passion.
Conversely, fire that is denied, judged, projected or suppressed manifests as anger and dis–ease in the body and mind!
5 Tips to master the fire within
1. Stop - Think of the last time you flashed red with anger . Just like the red traffic light indicates to stop. Open, breathe and welcome the fire energy to continue to move through you. Let anger be your signal to stop circling in the story and fully open to the energy that has been triggered. Directly experience the fire without the story.
2. Indirect Expression - You may need to physically move a strong charge of fire before you can express it clearly. So find a safe space and move your body, breathe, dance, breathe, run, breathe, sing, breathe, scream into a pillow or roar like a tiger to release the charge of energy. Did I mention breathe? Write a letter without sending it to release what you are feeling in words.
3. Direct Expression - Anger alerts us to that we are not okay with, so express how you feel about an angering situation with honesty. A great way to do this is to own your feelings (I feel...) and speak in terms of your passion. Let the person know what is important to you rather than attacking what they are doing or saying. Practice mastering the fine balance between aggressive, assertive and passive communication. Give yourself room for error.
4. Own - Acknowledge the mirror that other peoples words and actions reflect about ourselves. Acknowledge where you may have treated yourself in a similar way and thus attracted the same behaviour externally. This requires you to take responsibility for the feelings that have been triggered in a situation.
5. Change – Use the fire energy as fuel to make any changes in your relationships, life, career and personal life that align you with your true passions.
Let your fire unleash with acceptance, honesty, maturity and love, and enjoy the health and happiness it creates.
If you would like some guidance along the way the Wellness Adventure is a fun and profound way to discover your true nature.
I'd love to hear your thoughts about your inner fire in the comments below and please share the love with your fiery tribe! Ha!