Do you crave to be really heard?
Words are coming out of your mouth but people appear to be too caught up in their own thoughts to really listen to you!
The art of listening is one of the most powerful skills that you can master in life.
Listening to others, listening to your inner yearnings, listening to your body, listening to nature. Relationships thrive when we learn to listen with not just our ears but our heart and soul.
Some of our most profound healing can occur when we are in the presence of somebody who really hears us.
As a coach and counsellor I use listening as my main skill and therapeutic tool, so I have been reflecting on some of the main things that have helped develop my listening abilities.
The most powerful influence on my listening skills was learning to listen to nature. It taught me the ability to be present with what is here... now... and notice the subtle messages that arise from beyond.
I spent time learning with some shamans and healers in South America, which taught me the importance of listening to nature by acknowledging our essential connectedness.
The shamans taught me to listen with my ears attentive, my mind clear, my heart open and my instincts honed. I listened to the birds, the mountains, the rivers and the trees like they were an extension of me.
Those powerful times in the Amazon Jungle helped me immensely in learning the subtlety and presence required to listen to people. Really listen!
During my counselling sessions, when clients share their doubts, fears, hopes and dreams, I listen with ALL of me and I listen acknowledging our connectedness.
Whether it be in person or on Skype, I listen to the changes in the tone and pitch of your voice as you share.
I listen to your choice of words and the way in which you choose to tell your story as this provides clues to your perception of a your circumstances.
I listen to the depth with which you speak indicating if you are speaking from your mind, heart or intuition.
I watch your body language and facial expressions as I listen.
I empty my mind of all ideas, concepts and theories and listen with the innocence of a child that is hearing for the first time... without judgement or expectation... just loving presence.
I open my heart to feel your heart as you speak.
I feel the energy, charge and life force that fuels each word and each topic.
I notice how you breathe as you speak and what makes you hold your breath.
I notice what statements you say that cause you to light up like sunlight and which statements deflate you like a balloon.
This powerful type of listening allows the true depth of your insecurities, fears and deepest yearnings to rise to the surface.
I keep my focus on the boundlessness of your divine essence as you express the limitations of your humanness.
Rather than think of a response while you are talking, I pause after hearing you speak, take a deep breath and intuitively guide the conversation through pain and deep to the core of your divine fabulousness.
When you learn to really listen, just a simple question that points to a 'blind spot' can create a powerful breakthrough.
Good listeners ask good questions.
Instead of giving advice, good listeners just ask the right questions that guide you to have your own realisations. We become like a team of investigators that work together to uncover the hidden truths that lie within.
Sometimes the most powerful response after deep listening is silence or just loving eye contact. In the space of loving silence our own empowered realisations emerge.
6 Tips to master the art of listening
As always I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below and please share these words with your tribe.
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