“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” ~Norman Cousins
I give thanks every day for the years that I spent sitting beside the terminally ill. It was deeply inspiring to see the strength people would show on their death beds to let go of EVERYTHING.
They would bravely let go of their old buried pains, their relationships, their hopes, dreams, their physical body and then finally their life as they knew it.... dissolving into the mystery.
Watching the last breath of so many, inspired me to live a life dedicated to the dance of surrender and letting go, rather than waiting til my own death bed.
Much of my work today is centred around guiding people (and myself) through the letting go process so that we can truly enjoy the present moment... letting go of old patterns, letting go of stored emotions, letting go of relationships, letting go of rigid beliefs that overshadow the vast magnificence of life.
Our reward for the courage of letting go is.......FREEDOM... with a capital F!
Just like water flows fearlessly over the waterfall cliffs and continues down the river. We too need to let go and let flow!
It was always one of my biggest fears that someone close to me would commit suicide.
It stemmed from a crazy pattern of feeling waaaaay too responsible for the feelings of those around me. (exhausting!!!) Lucky for me this pattern has shrunk to a small side plate size rather than an entire banquet of painstaking responsibility! Phew!
The fact that my worst fear did come true and I walked in to find my friend had taken his own life, in hindsight, was the catalyst to release myself from the unhealthy pattern.
I came to Bali 10 years ago to deeply feel the loss, to open my heart, to grieve fully and to let go of any responsibility I felt . I spent 10 days mostly crying and letting go of how I wanted things to be and surrendered to the reality of what did unfold.
Now that I am living in Bali, the journey of letting go continues... I recently uncovered a mountain of old unfelt emotions and had the chance to dive into the deep pit of feeling, in order to practice the art of letting go AGAIN! Different area of life but same process of letting go.
Yes it's true! While we are in this body and our hearts are open to life, we will continually be challenged to let go.
...to let go of the old stale breath so we can breathe in new fresh air.
...to let go of the last moment so we can embrace this moment.
...to let go of yesterday so we can embrace today.
...to let go of each life phase so we can embrace our new phase.
...to let go of people who have left our lives so we can fully welcome the new.
...to let go of who we think we are so we can surrender to who we really are.
We need to be prepared to let go everyday...
...to let go of the small stuff as well as the courage to face the bigger stuff as it begins to rise to the surface.
We can try and run and hide amongst a busy life filled with distractions.
We can become self inflicted slaves to our own painful circling patterns.
We can have regular adult tantrums and stamp our feet at the 'unfairness' of life.
OR with grace and maturity we can breathe love and acceptance into every emotion that wants to arise, feel it fully, exhale and let go, one day at a time!
There are two essential steps that I have discovered
that are key to the letting go process.
1. Feel the emotions fully. None of this... oooh there you go I just felt a quick wave and shed a quick tear... that must be it... bamm lets move on... oh no no no! That won't work! Believe me I've tried it many times! Until we are ready to sit down and allow the full force of the emotional storm to rise and pass we cannot really let go. Our circling mind will continue to create the same pattern and story. We need to be open to directly experiencing the emotion, dropping the story and simply breathing love and acceptance into the emotion. This allows it an open and smooth passage for release. Easier said than done yet a powerful practice!
2. Get the lesson. When we fully realise the lesson within the experience we are letting go of, we are free. For example to fully let go of my friends suicide I needed to learn to not take responsibility for how those around me were feeling. There is always a gem to learn from each cleansing storm of emotion that rolls through! Be patient with yourself though.... sometimes it takes a few emotional storms for us to get the lesson and have an AHA moment!
Feel the storm fully and find the gem during the calm after the storm! Both steps are needed to be free.
Let's not wait until our final weeks to make peace with the past. Let's do it now, moment to moment, so that we can enjoy this life in freedom, peace and joy! If there is a trauma or emotional pattern you are struggling to let go of I can guide you through the process in the 4 week Month Intensive! Book in today and shine!
May we all 'rest in peace' before we exit this body!
May we let go and 'die before we die'.
I'd love to hear any of your tips for letting go in the comments below, click 'like' if these words spoke to you and please share the love (this article) with your tribe!
and a free Ebook!