"Addiction arises from an unconscious refusal to face and move through your pain." Erkhart Tolle
What are you addicted to? What ways do you choose to avoid pain?
It always amazes me what lengths we humans will go to just to avoid feeling the heavy stuff. Somewhere along the way we were told that pain is the enemy and needs to be avoided at all costs.
Oooh quick... pain approaching... pour me a drink!
We find all sorts of destructive behaviours that attempt to avoid it, but ironically the addictions we choose only prolong and deepen the pain.
Some addictions are easy to recognise... drugs, alcohol, smoking, coffee, sex, gambling, work addictions... the list goes on.
Yet some addictions are more subtle and are ways that we avoid fully showing up, facing and being present in the moment.
Pain is the doorway to peace and if we can identify our addictions and learn skills to move through our pain step by step... tremendous peace awaits!
On today's blog I am going to highlight my addictions that show up as ways that I have avoided pain. This may help you to recognise and let go of yours!
I have been addicted to many things over the years to avoid feeling pain.
For years I was addicted to heavy wheat products that would numb my body and make me sleepy so that I didn't have to feel the pain and the internal pressure created by my distorted perceptions of life. Another plate of pasta please!
I was addicted to creating fantasies in my head. I couldn't deal with the real life outcome of events/relationships and would fantasise over and over in my head about how I wanted things to turn out. This is different to positive visualisations when you actively picture in your mind what you would like to occur while meditating. Addictive fantasies take over and interrupt your whole day/life and seem impossible to stop until the pain of the reality is faced. See ya I'm heading off with the fairies now!
I have also been addicted to people pleasing and seeking approval from others. I would go to great lengths to ensure that people would like and approve of me. I wasn't able to face the pain of somebody not liking or approving of me so my behaviour was like a compulsion of niceness and over giving to the point of resentment! Ahhhh exhausting!
As you can see there are many subtle ways that we can escape reality, where we numb a moment and are not fully present with what is.
Each time we avoid what is in the moment we shove the pain down into the depths of our being, only to be dealt with later.
So what are you addicted to? What ways do you choose to avoid pain?
4 ways to weaken subtle addictions
1. Firstly identify what ways you avoid pain. The best way to tell that something is an addiction is if you cannot just stop it at will.
2. The next time you notice that you are caught in a compulsive behaviour ask yourself what reality and pain you may be avoiding. Dig deep for your inner strength and instead of choosing the addictive behaviour or substance welcome any pain that wishes to arise. Allow yourself to open, surrender and breathe... being present with whatever emotions and thoughts wish to pass through the vast expanse of who you really are.
3. Undertake regular self Inquiry to awaken to the vast truth of who you are beyond your feelings and circumstances. As you identify with your true nature, pain is met with a playful curiosity and is seen as a sign post that leads to the source of who you are.
4. If the pain feels too big to deal with on your own, book in a counselling session or undertake my awakening program that teaches you how to face pain step by step. You deserve to be free!
I would love to hear what tips have helped you face subtle addictions or your thoughts in the comments below and please share this article with your family and friends.
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