"If plan A fails, remember there are 25 more letters in the alphabet!"
We live in a world that is obsessed with success. We struggle and strive to be greater, bigger, faster, stronger and wiser. Success is like a carrot that dangles before us and we often run ourselves dizzy, going in circles just to get a taste of it.
Well bugger that I say! Striving for perfection and so called success is over-rated. I would much rather playfully fail, learn, laugh, get back up, try again and see where that takes me. Give me a big fat face plant any day! Ha!
Splat and grow! Yeah!
I know... not what you were expecting to hear! Fear of failure is one of the human races biggest fears but failure is my new best friend and I can't wait to tell you why!
I used to be petrified of failure. I would be frozen with fear if there was any possibility I could mess something up. My old motto was perfection or go home!
I was obsessed with being the best at everything. If I didn't win a race, get an A+ or win the prize I would have a little tantrum, beat myself up and push myself harder and harder and harder to succeed next time!
Hello 'successful girl superstar' who was often anxious, stressed and constantly striving for more, more, more. Blah!
Something had to change.
A shift in perception occurred when I learned to meditate and I transformed my relationship with failure. Phew!
I slowly learned (and I'm still learning!!!) to see the value in failure. To find the fun and the huge gems planted within it.
My life path is now paved with failures and embracing these failures has led me to create a blissful life currently living in Bali, a job I love (counselling/coaching online) and a peaceful heart.
My continually developing and deepening relationship with failure is one of the main reasons I am so thankful for my life today.
Learning to embrace failure is a shift in perfection that can wizz bang wham totally change the way we see the world and ourselves.
3 reasons why failure is my best friend
1. Out of chaos comes greater clarity.
My life failures helped me to clear out the old and focus more on what is most important.
Failures are the stepping stones to the natural growth that our instincts are guiding us towards.
They help us to refine, alter, align, adjust, tweak and master life through trial and error.
Life is an experiment. We have to forge our own path sometimes and test out what works and what doesn't.
So called failures help teach us what doesn't work and builds our resilience.
We have to go a little too full on sometimes to learn and pull back...
AND then we go a little too light and have to rev up a little... and then finally we find the optimum middle ground! Woohoo!
THEN we enter a whole new phase of life and the skill we thought we learnt no longer applies and geez here we go again... a little over the top... and then a little too light... and BAM back in the middle!
Hello natural patterns and rhythms of growth!
2. A life without failure is a stale and stagnant pond.
When we are too serious and focused on succeeding we put ourselves under a constant pressure to be perfect all the time.
This pressure often means we have lots of phases of inertia where we are too flippin scared to even make a move encase we fail!
We wait and wait until all the conditions are perfect, which never seems to happen so we keep sitting on our intuitive goals and dreams and imagining them but not taking any action.
When we are friends with failure we are happy to get out on the field of life and have a go.
Our failures are an opportunity for growth, movement, expansion and insight.
The happiest people I have ever met have a great relationship with failure. They are not afraid to do a huge belly flop in life... in fact they revel in it!
3. Failure is the fertile ground that the hugest oak trees are planted.
Failure is the nourished soil of manure that allows the seeds we plant to grow and flourish.
There is a huge freedom in failure. It helps to build humility.
Growth, growth, growth and decay are the laws of nature and the laws of life. When we hold ourselves tight and are too scared to fail we push against the natural flow of life.
Failures are only uncomfortable when we forget to laugh.
Faliure needs to be watered like a plant and celebrated.
Have you heard the term 'feast on failure'?
The next time you think you have failed at something. Throw a party! Who says we only need to celebrate when we succeed? Oh no no no! Invite all of your favourite inspiring friends. Put a delicious spread together and share all of the lessons that you learned in your failure.
Celebrate your courage to leap into life. Ask for feedback from those that you love and admire and bask in the flavour of their insights.
Celebrate your growth along the way... don't wait til you 'get there' (wherever that is) to celebrate!
The real truth is... on an ultimate level... there is no success and failure. They are different sides of the same cookie! One flat and one bumpy with choc chips!
Gobble them both up. Yum yum yum!
Feast on the full spectrum of life and stop labelling things as a success or a failure and just give life your best.
One giant leap, splat, get up, move ahead, baby step at a time!
If things don't turn out as you expect have a good laugh. Humour keeps pressure at bay and allows your life adventure to be soooo much more fun!
Who you are is beyond success and failure. The essence of you is so magnificent it shines through any apparent success or failure and dissolves them into.... well just life!
Embrace whichever way the cookie crumbles and who knows where you will end up?
Shine bright! xxx
How can I support you on your journey? My one to one skype counselling and coaching is a safe space and powerful way to release the hidden fears and repressed emotions. If fear of failure has been getting you down or holding you back then book in for my month intensive and learn to FLY FLY FLY!
I's love to hear your thoughts on failure in the comments below and please share this article with your tribe.
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